When Did We Decide That Deception Is More Professional Than Truth?
We say we want honesty.
We put “transparency” in slide decks and “feedback culture” in job descriptions.
But the moment tension enters the room, everyone reaches for a mask.
The leader puts on authority.
The employee tightens into performance.
And what started as discomfort becomes full-blown deception - polished, professional, well-phrased lies.
Why?
Because we’ve quietly decided that truth is too risky and facade is safer.
Because it’s easier to be a role than a person.
Because saying what we actually feel- I’m lost. I’m angry. I feel unseen. I don’t know how to fix this. -would crack the glass of “how things are done.”
But here’s the thing:
No real problem has ever been solved by pretending it doesn’t exist.
No team has ever healed from silence.
No conflict has ever resolved by staying polite.
And maybe this is the hardest truth of all:
If we were truly secure, in our voice, our values, our place in the room, we wouldn’t need to vent around the conflict.
We’d speak directly into it.
Not with aggression.
With clarity.
And maybe maybe maybe learn from each other?
Because leadership isn’t about control.
It’s about saying what’s true, before it turns into damage.
Photo taken early spring in North Estonia. A fallen tree over a small river.. what should’ve been a scenic view became a quiet reminder of what happens when things are left unresolved.