Why Leading With Emotion Isn’t Weak

We’re told that emotions have no place in leadership.
That the moment you feel - or worse, show - you lose control, credibility, or power.

I believed that once.
I don’t anymore.

Humans are instinctive.
We pick up on tone, posture, silence, and tension.
When a leader puts on the stone-face mask, it doesn’t make them seem strong.
It makes them unreadable.
And unreadable doesn’t inspire trust.
And trust is why people follow.

At one job, I tried it.
In meetings, I was all business - calm, sharp, efficient.
In the coffee corner, I allowed myself to be human. Warmer. Softer.
The result?
Complaints.
Not because I was too emotional - but because no one knew what to expect.
That dissonance was louder than any display of feeling could ever be.

And it’s not just about tone.
It’s about how we shift into performance mode the second we enter an office.
Like we’re stepping into emotional armor.
We play roles, read the room, manage perception.

Leadership becomes about how we appear - not who we are.

But then - after hours - we see that same person at the store.
Tired. Raw. Maybe even upset or unsure.
And suddenly… we allow it.
Now it’s “okay” to be human?
Or not?
Maybe they should hide - just in case someone from work sees.
Just in case the version that’s real doesn’t match the one that was performed.

This kind of disconnection creates quiet chaos.
It fractures trust.
It exhausts everyone.

So what happens when I simply show up as myself?

When I know how I feel, understand what I value, and make decisions with both data and what feels right?
When I say what’s true and care how it lands?

That’s not weakness.
That’s integrity.

Because “what feels right” is often a mirror of what matters.
And what matters is what guides us - especially when things get hard.
It’s what fuels the fire that carries us forward.

Emotionally honest leadership isn’t a liability.
It’s the most stable ground you can offer people in an unstable world.

This is the kind of leadership I believe in.
And I know I’m not the only one.
———————————————————————

If this resonates with you - if you’ve ever felt the tension between who you are and who you’re expected to be - this space is for you.
Subscribe to stay close.
Or share it with someone who leads with more than just a title.